Second Insurgency at Unami Creek

by Auden Watts

On March 29, 2025, an insurgency occurred at Unami Creek Park during a friendly gathering of UFA citizens. At the onset of the gathering, an insurgent by the name of Charlie Walters began shooting unarmed Americonian citizens with a gel gun, a harmless but formidable weapon. UFA citizens tried to fight back and eventually managed to deplete the ammunition in his gun.

Charlie Walters with his gel gun

Walters, who appeared to be acting alone, responded by stealing the Americonian flag and retreating into the forest, and the Americonian citizens at the park joined forces to track down and apprehend him. They chased him through the forest, and Walters managed to outrun them for several minutes before being cornered in a section of the forest full of thorn bushes. After successfully regaining control of the flag, the forces of the UFA hid it in a box, but Walters managed to steal the flag a second time, this time with the help of Matteo Chirea, founder of the short-lived Nico Party 2. An even longer chase ensued, with citizens crossing Unami Creek to track down the insurgents and the flag which they possessed. 

The insurgency took place at Unami Creek Park, where the UFA fought the Nico Party in 2024, demonstrating that while the Nico Party later dissolved, anti-Americonian rebels have not disappeared from the political landscape. Charlie Walters, who was part of a classified government contract, cited his lack of payment for his actions, stating during the chase that "the only reason I will be committing this heinous act is 'cause I have been denied my payment by the government". The insurgency did not motivate President Watts to provide Walter's payment.

Former Nico Party leader Gabe Shelly helped track down Charlie Walters.

Gabe Shelly, a former anti-Americonian insurgent himself, joined forces with his fellow citizens to track down and apprehend Walters.

Another citizen who joined the fight was MC Faith Sedicum, who incurred superficial skin damage while attempting to rescue the flag from a patch of thorns. She described the battle as "rough, tiring; exciting though', remarking that "Charlie [Walters] is hella fast, but not as fast as the GROWTH OF OUR DEMOCRACY".

It is believed that the government of the United Friends of America will press charges against Walters for his crimes against the government and citizens of the nation. The Supreme Court has never managed a criminal case before, but prosecution may be deemed necessary.